


Maybe The Real Dinner Was The Friends We Made Along The Way

by Gallus



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood & Manga, Venom (Comics), Venom (Movie 2018)
Genre: Characters to be added, Crossover, Gen, Other Additional Tags to Be Added
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-03
Updated: 2019-11-05
Packaged: 2021-01-22 11:10:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,245
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21301091
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gallus/pseuds/Gallus
Summary: While helping out a friend Ling Yao gets wrapped up in a corporate conspiracy, almost gets eaten by aliens, and makes a new friend.
Relationships: Greed (Ling) & Ling Yao
Comments: 4
Kudos: 43





	1. Chapter 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Welcome to the end of eras

As a large tech company it wasn’t all that unusual when Xing inc expressed its interest in spaceflight technology. It wasn’t unusual when it launched a probe to collect samples from a passing asteroid. And it wasn’t unusual when the results came back saying that the asteroid was mostly composed of clay and silicate.

An asteroid is just a rock in space. It’s not like anyone was thinking they’d find aliens. The news cycle moved on to more interesting things.

-

Twenty-two year old Ling Yao was the twelfth person publicly identified as an illegitimate child of the current CEO of Xing inc. This wasn’t news to Ling, his mother had been paid to keep quiet when he was young, but it was a little annoying to have his own face plastered all over the tabloids for a week. Soon enough a thirteenth and fourteenth were outed, and by that point the media mostly left Ling alone in favor of pestering to other two.

It was kind of funny to read up on speculation as to how many children there could possibly be. Had the old man never heard of condoms or something?

Ling couldn’t wait for this whole thing to blow over so he could get back to his life. He’d had to quit his job, and move in with his former childhood caretaker Fu to avoid the press.

“Are you sure about this?” he had asked, “I don’t want anyone causing you or Lan Fan any trouble.”

“I’d like to see them _try_ to bother Lan Fan!” Fu had laughed, like it was all one big joke.

(He was kinda right. It was pretty funny when Lan Fan punted that vlogger into a pond.)

Ling was flipping through job listing, thinking that maybe he could write a book about this whole mess and get rich that way, when his phone started vibrating. He glanced over, and saw a picture of a bean-spot flashing on the screen.

Ling picked up, “Hey, Ed.” he said, “What’s up?”

“Ling!” Edward sounded much too cheery, “My good friend! My beloved ex-roommate! My-”

Ling cut him off, “What do you want this time, Elric.” he sighed.

“I just need you to sign up for some medical trials, and-”

Ling hung up. His phone started vibrating again almost instantly. Ling let it sit for a minute before picking back up.

“Don’t hang up on me, bastard!” Edward yelled.

“You stop trying to get me to commit crimes!” Ling retorted.

“When have I ever committed any crimes!?” Edward said indignantly.

“Do you want me to just list the ones directed specifically at Mustang, or the ones committed against humanity as a whole?”

“Whatever. I’m not even calling about myself.” brushed off Edward, “I need you to do this as a favor for Al.”

Ling waited.

“‘s girlfriend’s scary Ishvalan friend.” Edward finished quickly.

Ling hung up again. A few expletive laden texts from Edward later he picked back up. “You know, Ed,” he started, “I’m pretty sure it’s kind of racist that you only ever describe this guy as ‘scary’ or ‘huge’.”

“Oh, shut up. You’ve seen the man, he could snap both of us like twigs.”

It was true, Mei’s friend had to be one of the buffest people Ling ever met. Which was saying something when you took into account the amount of really buff guys Edward seemed to know.

“Now are you going to help or not?” Edward continued.

“Why me exactly?” asked Ling.

“Because it’s not like you’re doing anything, and also, it’s a Xing thing.”

Ling considered hanging up for a third time, but he knew Ed wouldn’t be bothering him with this unless it was important. “Isn’t this the same Ishvalan guy that tried to kill you?”

Ling could hear Edward waving it off, “I was, like, fifteen when that happened. I’d try to kill me.”

“That’s fair enough, but it doesn’t explain why Mei needs my help.” Ling said.

“Okay, so here’s the plan.” Ling could hear Edward rustling around for something, probably a bag of chips, “Xing’s doing these shady medical trials on the down low, right? And they’re mostly taking poor Ishvalans. Mei’s friend got word that people aren’t coming back from these things, so obviously something’s up.”

“And what does this have to do with me.” Ling asked when Edward took a break to shovel chips into his mouth.

“I’m getting to that.” Edward crunched, “So Mei’s friend wants to know what’s going on, but Mei doesn’t want him sighing up and getting disappeared. We don’t think anyone that’s not Ishvalan is in any danger, but Mei’s way too high-profile right now to sign up, and there’s no way I’m letting Al do something so stupid.

“So why don’t you sign up?”

“Because,” Edward said slowly, “ the plan s’not to actually sign up, it’s info gathering, or whatever.” Edward crunched another handful, clearly stalling for time, “I know I’m not the most subtle guy around-”

Ling snorted, “Oh, really?”

“Shut up, Yao. You’re out of a job. You’re down on your luck. So you walk in, and sign up hoping to make a quick buck. You charm the pants off some secretary, maybe a doctor, and get a few names or something before some higher-up recognizes you and kicks you out. And that’s it. Easy peasy.”

“Hmm.” said Ling, “I don’t know. What’s in it for me?”

“My eternal gratitude?”

“Naw.”

“_Al’s_ eternal gratitude?”

“Nope. I’ve already got that.”

There was some grumbling from Edward, and then, “I’ll buy you dinner after.”

Ling didn’t wait for Ed to finish, “Sounds good! I’ll text you the name of the place we’re going to after.” and he hung up. 

This was going to be the easiest free meal ever.

-

“I can’t believe you got yourself kicked out so fast.”

“Okay, one, I wasn’t ‘kicked out’. I was politely escorted off the premises.” Ling said through a mouthful of sweet and sour chicken, “And two, it was a stupid plan to began with.”

While Ling had been in the process of signing the check-in sheet the girl at the desk happened look up from her book, and blurted out, _“Haven’t I seen you on T.V?” _ loud enough for a scary looking doctor to hear. Ling had been not so kindly told to leave, so as to prevent any kind of bias among the testers.

“Yeah, you’re right. That was a stupid plan.” said Edward with a sigh.

“Oh! Do I hear the one and only Edward Elric admitting to being wrong?” teased Ling

“Shut it, Yao.” grumbled Edward.

“Sure. Sure. Can I just.” Ling grabbed his phone, and leaned in like it was recording, “Can I get you to repeat that for posterity?”

“Ling, I will shove that down your throat!” Edward snapped, and as if acting on cue Ling’s phone started to buzz as it received several text messages in a row.

>Hey! Is this Ling Yoa?  
>*Yao.  
>I hope this isn’t too weird, but this is Sneaky from the reception desk earlier.  
>*Sheska  
>I’m sorry I got you kicked out, but I need to talk to you.  
>Please.  
>Sorry if this is the wrong number!

Edward smirked, “Looks like we’ve got a lead.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> two projects at once this is going to be a bad idea lol
> 
> I've been working on this off and on since I first saw Venom last November, so it might update a little quicker than Crookedtooth for awhile depending on how long it takes me to edit
> 
> I hope you enjoy!


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm all dressed up and naked  
I see what's mine and take it

Hearing Edward Elric talk, what with his eastern drawl and his general hatred of city life, you wouldn’t think he’d have such extensive knowledge of Central’s back alleys. It was just one of the many surprises Ling’s friend had up his sleeve.

“Are you _sure_ this is the right way?” Ling asked.

“Yes. now shut up before you get us mugged.” Edward snapped, as he struggled to pull an expensive looking camera out of his backpack.

Before today Ling hadn’t known Edward even knew anything about photography. Sometimes Ling wondered where Edward’s wealth eclectic knowledge came from.

“So,” Ling said, “reminded me why our phone cameras aren’t good enough?”

“Because,” Edward said, annoyed, “if this is the real deal we want photos so high quality nobody can question them.” Edward swung his head around a few time, looking for something. “There! I think I see her.”

The secretary girl looked just as mousy and bookish as she had at her desk. She stood in stark contrast to the filth of the dumpster she was poorly hidden behind.

She noticed them entirely too late to have done anything with a small, “Oh, you snuck up on me.”

“Hey,” said Ling, “Sheska right?”

“That’s right!” said the girl, “So you’re Ling, and this is, um.” she said, looking curiously at Edward struggling with his camera.

“The friend I mentioned, his name’s Edward. Say hi to the nice lady, Ed.”

Edward looked up. “So tell me, why do you need our help breaking this. What’s stopping you from emailing a few pictures to Central news yourself?”

“To be honest?” Sheska sighed, “I’m afraid of what Xing would do to me. But you!” she turned to Ling, “You’re like a minor celebrity! If you went missing somebody would have to notice, right?”

“Yeah, or they'd just assume I went even more underground to stay out of the spotlight.” Ling said, rubbing the back of his head.

Edward elbowed him in the ribs, “Don’t be so negative, Yao.” then to Sheska, “So where’s the entrance?”

“Right over here!” Sheska said, jumping to attention, “I’ll have to unlock it from the other side, so you two just sit tight for a bit.”

Sheska got about halfway down the alley before she turned around, digging something out of her pockets.

“Back so soon?” teased Ling.

“Sorry! I just, forgot-” then she pulled a slip of paper of her back pocket with a triumphant, “Here it is!” and passed it to Ling.

“What is it?” Edward asked, leaning over Ling’s shoulder.

“It’s a partial map of the facility.” said Sheska.

Map was putting it lightly, it looked like a hand drawn blueprint. “Where’d you get this?” Ling asked.

“I drew it myself.” Sheska said, like it was no big deal. “Now I’m not sure where they keep the patients,“ she went on, “but I’ve circled the most likely area.” she pointed at the portion of map labeled ‘downstairs’

“I’d better get inside.” Sheska said, “You better two study up on that, because I can only keep the security cameras down for so long. I’ll see you in a bit!”

Ling slumped down against the wall, behind the dumpster. “What have I gotten myself into?” he sighed

-

Getting through the building without being seen wasn’t as hard as Ling thought is was going to be. The real hassle started when they made it to the stairwell door. The thing was locked.

Edward swore under his breath, and passed his camera off to Ling. “You keep watch,” he said, producing a set of lockpicks from his backpack, “I’ll get the door.”

“Since when do you know how to pick locks?” said Ling.

“Since I was twelve.” hissed Edward, “Now keep it down.”

It was several excruciating minutes before Edward got the door open.He quickly swapped out the lockpicks for a black bandana and the most garish looking oni mask Ling had ever seen.

Edward pulled the mack on and tossed the bandana at Ling. “You should’ve brought a mask, or something, Yao.” Edward tutted, “Lucky for you I think ahead. Now give me back my camera, and let’s see what’s going on down here.” Ling passed the camera back, and tied the bandana around the lower half of his face.

The descent into the basement wasn’t very long, but by the time they made it all the way it felt like the temperature had dropped a good ten degrees. Ling lifted up the bandana to breath out. He could see fog form.

“Right,” said Edward “make sure to stick together.”

Ling nodded.

Edward started snapping pictures as some as they opened the door. It looked like some kind of lab. At first they didn’t see anything too unusual. Some test tubes here, a cage of mice there. 

Then they found the cells.

At the back of the lab were these great glass boxes, big enough for a person. Some of them were bloodstained. Edward started taking pictures like crazy. Ling felt vaguely sick. Then they spotted it. The last cell at the very back of the lab had a man sleeping in it. He looked Ishvalan.

“Shit.” Edward swore, as he stuffed his camera back into his bag, “Ling, we gotta get him out.”

Ling nodded dumbly, and ran to the cell door, looking for a way to open it. The door was locked with a keypad. “Ed!” shouted Ling, “We need a code. Look and see if someone left a note or something laying around!”

“No time for that!” Edward shouted back, as the man in the cell stirred, “The cameras will be back on soon!”

Edward pulled a fire extinguisher of the wall, and threw it at the cell. The man in the cell jumped awake.

“Ed!” hissed Ling, “You’re going to get us caught!”

The man in the cell scrambled back into the corner. “No!” he said, “You need to get out of here before It hurts you!”

“Not until we get you out!” Edward yelled back. He picked up the fire extinguisher and smashed against the cell. 

A crack appeared, and at that an alarm started blaring. The man screamed, and slammed himself into the cracked cell wall. More cracks appeared, and the man hauled back to slam into it a second time.

“Edward!” Ling yelled, “Get out of the way!” 

Ling ran over to yank Edward out of harm's way just as the man slammed through the glass. The man fell onto Ling, and made a noise like a hiss. He clenched his hands around Ling’s arms and screamed. Ling could feel the man’s spit and snot dripping onto his face. Then the man went still, and fell against Ling dead weight.

Ling struggled to get the man off of him. Edward shoved him the rest of the way off Ling.

“Holy shit.” said Edward, “I think he’s dead.”

Ling knew he should probably be horrified, but all he could feel the alarm pounding in his head

“Come on.” Ling said, as he hauled himself to his feet, “We’ve got to get out of here

As him and Edward ran up the stairs all Ling could think about was getting away from the blaring alarm. It was like the noise was seeping into his head, and pushing out all other thoughts.

They burst out of the stairwell door, and into a pair of armed guards.

Edward punched one in the face, and kept moving. Ling ran after him. As they approached the back entrance they’d taken in Ling could hear gunshots behind them. 

They exploded out the backdoor. As soon as they were both outside Edward ran to the dumpster, and started pushing. “Give me a hand, Ling!” he yelled.

Ling took the other end of the dumpster, and pulled. The thing moved easily, it wasn’t nearly as heavy as he was expecting. 

After they got the dumpster in front of the door they took off. About halfway down the street Edward yelled, “Can you get back home fine?!”

“Yeah, I think so!” Ling yelled back.

“Good!” said Edward, “Let’s split up!” and he turned down an alley leaving Ling alone.

Ling ran for what felt like forever before he started to recognize the area he was in. He slowed down, and took the long way home, careful to make sure he wasn’t being followed.

Thankfully, nobody was home when Ling walked through the door. He knew he should probably shower but he was exhausted from all the running, and being shot at. He sent a quick text to Ed confirming his safety, striped down to his jeans, and collapsed into his bed

It didn’t take long for Ling to fall asleep.

He dreamed he sat up.

He was sitting in a long, flat nest. It was kind of like the ones the creatures at the lab had used, but bigger, and more comfortable. It would probably be nice to just sit back and relax here for a bit, but he had slept enough. Now he had work to do.

It took him a moment to untangle himself from the nest, but soon he was up and ready to search the dwelling. He walked to the chamber opening then paused. He took a step back, bent down to the ground, and pressed an ear to the flooring. He could hearfeel vibrations coming from one of the other chambers, but he was too weak to be able to pinpoint the creature’s precise location. If he was too weak to locate something than he was definitely too weak to fight it.

He got up and walked back to the nest. At least he would be able to spend his topor somewhere comfortable for once.

Then Ling dreamed about dreaming

The next dream was much stranger. He was on a ship he didn’t recognize, looking out a window at the vast blackness of space. Supposedly they were going to pass by a gas giant soon. He was excited to see the cloud bands up close.

His host chuckled, “Sorry buddy, but it’s still a few cycles off.” 

He oozed a small piece of his mass out of his host’s shoulder to complain directly into his host’s ear. Dolcetto only laughed, “You’ve got to be the whinest little world eater I’ve ever met.”

He should have been offended. He should have eaten this creature right then for its insolence. But all he could feel was a warmth deep in his mass at his host’s quiet laugh. It was a sound only for him.

Ling woke up incredibly disoriented. He tried to remember if he had been dreaming, but the memory was just out of reach.

He looked at his phone. It was eight in the morning Lan Fan and Fu were definitely home now. He sighed, and got dressed.

As soon as Ling walked into the kitchen Fu looked up over his coffee and said, “You look like shit.” 

Ling squinted against the light of the kitchen window. The room had a glaring partial view of the sunrise. “Thanks.” he said, as he made his way to the pantry.

Lan Fan was standing next to it. She opened the door, pulled out an open box of Poptarts, and handed them to Ling. “You were asleep when I got back.” she said, “What did you do last night?”

“Oh, you know,” said Ling, as he shoved a Poptart into his mouth, “hung out with Ed.”

Fu sighed, and shook his head. “That boy’s a bad influence.” he said.

“Yeah, probably.” Ling agreed. He decided that it probably wouldn’t be the best idea to tell Fu and Lan Fan about how he spent last night breaking and entering. Then he remembered Edward and his photos. “Hey,” he said, “I’ve actually got to go help Ed out with a school project of his.” he started to slide out the door before either of them could protest.

“Wait! What project?” yelled Fu.

“Dunno! Something about photography I think?” Ling said, as he kicked his shoes on, “I’ll be back in a bit. Love you!” and he was out.

Ling started to Edward’s place, and got about a block away before he realized he had eaten the entire box of Poptarts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> uggg been picking at this for awhile. If anyone has any feedback at all on the action that would be great i really feel like writing action is my biggest weak point lol


End file.
